Kelsey Hoff

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Finding Your Way After Religion

Maybe you've left a high-control religious environment, or you're starting to question beliefs that have shaped much of your life. You might be realizing that what you were taught to believe, how you were expected to live, and who you actually are don't quite line up anymore. And while you may have made some big changes already, you might still find yourself dealing with anxiety, guilt, self-doubt, or complicated family relationships. It can be frustrating to realize just how much your religious experiences continue to affect you, even when your beliefs or circumstances have changed.

I work with adults navigating religious trauma, spiritual abuse, and religious deconstruction. One thing I've come to appreciate through my own experiences and my work with clients is that questioning, changing, or leaving a belief system doesn't automatically undo its impact. There can be a lot to untangle, especially when you've spent years being told what to believe, how to think, and who you're supposed to be. Therapy can give you space to sort through those experiences, get to know yourself outside of those expectations, and begin trusting yourself to make decisions that reflect who you are and what matters to you.

What Is It Like to Work With Me?

I approach therapy with curiosity, warmth, and a lot of respect for your ability to find your own way. I'm not here to tell you what to believe, how to live, or what decisions you should make. If you've spent years in an environment where other people claimed to have the answers, the last thing you need is another person telling you what to do. Instead, I see my role as someone who comes alongside you, bringing my knowledge of psychology, trauma, and relationships while recognizing that you're the expert on your own experiences.

My style is reflective and intentional. I listen carefully, ask thoughtful questions, and pay attention to the connections between what you've experienced in the past and what's happening in your life today. I might offer an observation, invite you to consider something from a different perspective, or gently challenge an assumption, but I'm more interested in helping you arrive at your own understanding than telling you what I think the answer should be. I believe there's value in slowing down, making room for uncertainty, and allowing new insights to emerge without rushing towards a conclusion.

Our sessions are collaborative, and the work we do will depend on what you need. Sometimes we'll talk through what's happening in your life, explore relationships, or make sense of experiences that have shaped you. Other times, we might use EMDR to process experiences that continue to affect you emotionally, even when you understand them intellectually. We'll work together to determine what feels helpful, and you'll always have a say in the direction and pace of our work.

You don't need to have everything figured out before coming to therapy. My hope is to create a space where you feel comfortable being honest, asking questions, and exploring who you are without the pressure to arrive at a particular conclusion.

My Approach and Background

I'm a Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC) with a Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and an educational background in Religious Studies and Psychology. I've spent more than a decade working as a therapist, supporting adults through a wide range of experiences, including anxiety, trauma, relationship difficulties, identity questions, and significant life transitions. Over the years, I've developed a particular interest in religious trauma, spiritual abuse, and religious deconstruction.

My approach is client-centred, trauma-informed, and grounded in the belief that people have the capacity to grow, change, and find their own way. I draw from several therapeutic approaches, including Family Systems Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Narrative Therapy, and attachment-based perspectives. Rather than following a single method, I bring together different ideas and tools depending on what we're working through and what feels most useful to you.

I'm also trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), a therapy that helps people process distressing experiences that continue to affect them in the present. I appreciate how EMDR can complement talk therapy, particularly when someone understands why they feel or react a certain way but continues to experience the same emotional responses. EMDR isn't something we need to jump into, and it isn't the right approach for every person or every concern. We'll explore together whether it might be helpful as part of your therapy.

My interest in religious trauma and deconstruction is both professional and personal. Having grown up in a religious environment and gone through my own process of questioning and leaving, I understand some of the complexities that can come with re-examining beliefs that once shaped your identity, relationships, and sense of belonging. That experience has influenced my work, but I also recognize that everyone's relationship with religion is different. I approach each person's story with curiosity and respect, without assuming that their experiences or conclusions will look like mine.

A Little More About Me

Outside of counselling, I'm a wife, mom of two young boys, gardener, homesteader, and someone who's endlessly curious about people and the world. My family lives on a rural acreage in Saskatchewan, where we're involved in regenerative agriculture and usually have more projects on the go than we have time to finish. My counselling office is actually a converted shipping container situated between our barn and chicken coop, so if you occasionally hear a rooster during one of our online sessions, now you'll know why!

Before settling into life on the acreage, I spent about five years living in Palestine and Jordan. Those experiences shaped the way I see the world and deepened my appreciation for different cultures, perspectives, and ways of life. I still love travelling and learning about people's experiences, although these days I'm more likely to be found working in the garden, experimenting with something in the kitchen, or spending time outside with my family.

I've always been someone who enjoys asking questions, learning new things, and exploring ideas. I value authenticity, curiosity, and the freedom to keep growing and changing throughout life. Those values are important to me personally, and they naturally find their way into how I approach my work as a therapist.

Interested in Working Together?

I offer online individual counselling for adults across most of Canada and internationally where permitted. If you're wondering whether we might be a good fit, I invite you to book a free 20-minute consultation. It's an opportunity to tell me a little about what you're looking for, ask questions, and get a sense of what working together might be like, without any pressure to commit.